At this moment, I am sitting on my couch, basking in the memory of an incredible birthday weekend spent with people that mean the world to me, gallivanting around the southern half of California, and dancing the night away. *sigh of contentment*
My birthday was amazing. And if you know me, you know that I planned it out approximately 5 months in advance, invited everyone I cared about, and sent out hourly reminders until the day of. There was no room for error, and I loved every single second.
On Sunday, I was discussing how awesome my birthday Friday was with someone, and I made the comment that it turned out great because I made sure that it turned out great, leaving no detail left to chance.
He offhandedly remarked “well yeah, but it probably had a lot more to do with being an awesome person.” *cue blush*
After my initial flattered response (sadly, it wasn’t just a compliment for me), we discussed how the people who are generally wonderful have positive and amazing things happen to them, while the people who are generally terrible have shitty and negative things happen to them.
In a phrase, you attract what you radiate.
This concept is nothing new. I have read multiple articles on the topic, sayings like “your vibe attracts your tribe” are everywhere, and people are always quick to point out how someone caused their own downfall in one way or another due to their mindset.
And yet, it is rare that people actually take this truth into consideration in their daily lives. There are so many times that individuals see something that they want and are flabbergasted when they cannot seem to obtain it or when it does not fit into their life. If you want something out of life, first you must become attractive to that thing.
The biggest example I can think of to illustrate this concept is our relationships with other people, both romantic and platonic. If you as a female are attracted to strong, intellectual men yet you are a party girl who just wants to get some dranks every weekend, you will not appeal to that type of man. If you are a male attracted to feisty, independent women, you cannot be living with your parents and crumbling to their every desire.
If you want friends who are ride or die and will be there for you no matter what happens, you have to give that to them first. If you want friends who can travel the world with you, don’t limit yourself to your high school bestie who has never left the hometown except for the occasional Christmas at Grandma’s the next state over.
People who are awesome want nothing but the highest quality out of their relationships, careers, and daily life. They also tend to have universal traits: Kindness, passion, drive, consideration, and zest for life rarely are possessed by subpar individuals.
There are also things that could make someone extra amazing to one person, and be a total turnoff to another. One random example of this is geekiness. In my view, going crazy for ComicCon or the latest Star Trek movie is not my idea of impressive, and if I met a man who was obsessed with these things, I would not give him a second glance. Yet for other women, this same trait would be their kryptonite.
Our life is created not by what we desire, but by what we offer. There is a reason that I am not attracted to comic book nerds: I am the furthest thing from that myself. However, if I want to attract the strong, confident, successful, fit man that I want to end up with, I have to make sure that I am embodying those things.
Now, people constantly change, and there is nothing wrong with desiring more than what we can give at the time, but if you are not making strides towards closing the gap, that opportunity or relationship will drift away.
If an opportunity or a person shows potential, it’s worth it to explore it to the fullest. However, nothing will come to you with its potential fully realized, gracefully draping its fully bloomed self across your lap. Anything that seems like it could lead to the Realm of Awesome will take effort.
This is why potential without action is useless. There is everything right with seeing true potential inside or outside of yourself. There is everything wrong with simply sitting back and expecting great things to happen with no effort.
If I had not taken the time to plan out my birthday to the tiniest minute details, who knows what could have gone wrong or what expectations might have been crushed. However, because I acknowledged my own desires and took action to make it happen, I got to enjoy a magnificent day.
Every single person has the potential to be someone AWESOME. But just as a medieval fire would not start without the action of striking flint to stone, your potential for awesome will not alight without you taking strides to make it happen.
Take time to cultivate the impressive parts of yourself. Devote energy into investing in you. And when you decide to fully hit the road to Awesome, you’ll find it’s quite easy to link up with others on that same journey on your way. And once that happens, who knows what other amazing, breathtaking, wondrous things are waiting to transpire?
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