Yesterday I chaperoned our end-of-the-year 8th grade dance. Well, merely chaperoned is an understatement. I’m in charge of our 8th grade end of the year activities, and thusly I’ve been prepping for this event for months. In addition to making sure that the students ‘left room for Jesus’ during the dance, I also spent several hours setting up the event and an hour afterwards tearing it down (AFTER, of course, a full day of teaching).
What made an impression on me, however, was how many people stepped up to help me out. I’m used to doing things on my own, and while I vaguely knew that people had volunteered to help, it was overwhelming HOW MUCH they helped; it was truly awesome to be able to trust the people around me to step up and help me get the job done.
All of this reminded me of the saying, “it takes a village to raise a child”. As teachers, we have thousands of children to raise, and I am lucky to have an amazing village of teachers around me to help shape the children in our care. However, I feel that this saying applies to more than just raising a child; it also takes a village to provide the catalyst for success, motivation, and fulfillment.
This is not a very popular idea. In America, there is a glorified image of the Lone Ranger taking on the world all alone and rising to the top. Yet in reality, this type of win could only be achieved by stepping on the people below you in the fight to get the top, and you are limited by an unsavory reputation and the smell of burning bridges behind you. However, if you truly cultivate a village around you, your potential is unlimited, and you and your village will progress together.
The original village mentality was built around survival. If one person was out of line or there was a rife in a relationship, that threatened the very existence of the village. It all came down to trust, and if that trust was lost, your membership in that community was called into question. This guaranteed that the village members toed the line-their survival depended on it.
Today, we don’t need a village to survive. But I would argue that we do need a village to thrive. And while social media has done us a disservice by bringing to life the paradox of ‘the more you share the lonelier you feel’, it has opened up the possibility of being able to hand pick our village.
This is an amazing opportunity, so I’m going to repeat it: we live in a time where we are able to individually choose our village. We are able to actively search out people who will add value to our lives. This includes people who expose us to new information, pick us up when we stumble, and help us discover the tools we need to keep growing.
This, of course, comes with a flip side of the coin. In order to choose these individuals as your village, you need to bring something to the table. Gone are the days where you might happen to be born into the village where the best cloth-weaver resides, and where you can pick up on her skills by exposure. Now, in order to take advantage of someone else’s years of practice, you have to be able to contribute to their lives in some way.
It is a harsh reality, but it is true: if you do not bring value to anyone, no one is going to chose you to be in their village unless it is by happenstance. I believe that this is why so many people stay by their hometowns and have the same friend circle throughout their entire lives. People have a need to belong no matter what level they are on, but if you want to belong to more than the Friday night local bar club, you have to infuse your being with value.
Just as the top villages of old worked their ass off to make sure there was food, water, and shelter, the successful villages of today work just as hard to make sure that their minds are in tip top shape. And the concept of striving for full potential is just the same as scrambling for survival; every single person has to be at the top of their game or the whole network suffers.
The ability to choose your village is a privilege that many forgo, simply due to the lack of effort or lack of preparation. Actively seeking like-minded people is a foolproof way to light your own personal fire while getting the benefits of helping other people light theirs.
Take the time to think about who you admire, who you can see is creating your type of success, and who you want to be as a person. You cannot simply run up to these people and create a shortcut to prosperity-achieving ANY kind of personal goal is always through hard work. If you put in the arduous work, it will show. And once it starts showing, the people you seek out will be attracted to you because YOU can help them, too.
It truly takes a village to become the best version of yourself. Don’t shun the idea that you need help to get to where you want to be. While you’re waiting, strive to become the best version of you on your own, and when that is achieved, there will be people who come into your life to skyrocket you to heights you could have never even seen if you stayed in your own bubble. Strive for more than survival–seize the chance to thrive!