Musings on Life

Whew!  I can’t believe it’s been a month since I last posted.  In case you aren’t in my inner circle, I’ve been juggling moving, weeks of standardized testing (gag), minor family issues, and, to be completely honest, a recent addiction to the TV show “This Is Us” (do you watch it!?  It’s SO. GOOD!!!).

While none of these are a valid excuse, they nonetheless have kept me from keeping my promise to myself of at least one post a week.  Since I’ve been too occupied to contemplate any one particular thing in depth, I have decided to give you a peek into my brain and the myriad of thoughts therein.  So, here goes…

NUMBER ONE.  I went jogging on Saturday.  It was hot.  Like, almost 90 degrees hot, and my dumb ass decided that 1pm was a great time to break out the ol’ sneakers.  Although it was NOT an experience I’d advise anyone to attempt, I did get high-fived by a fellow jogger–which actually, was pretty freakin’ cool.  Yet I was annoyed at myself because immediately after I received said five, I smiled, and then proceeded to jump to negative conclusions about why she felt the need to give me props.  It’s because she thought I was fat, and wanted to ‘encourage’ me to keep going on my weight loss journey.  It’s because she saw that I was struggling and felt pity for me.  Immediately.  Instead of realizing that she was probably just a super cool chick who recognized a fellow badass, I immediately went to the negative.

This made me think of how often we do this to ourselves.  Instead of receiving positivity and light and awesomeness at face value, we immediately jump to analyzation.  What if, and stay with me here, what if we just simply….accepted it?  Acknowledge that we do, in fact, deserve any given accolades?  Stop ourselves from immediately searching for the “true” darker underbelly?  I’d like to wager the world would get a little bit brighter for everyone AND we would retrain our minds to actually not even go there in the first place.

NUMBER TWO.  I recently moved into a new apartment that’s closer to work.  My original goal in moving out was to be closer to the water, but the roommate I found wanted to be closer to her job (coincidentally closer to mine), and I decided to let go of that criteria due to that and other factors.  Originally I was super bummed, but now that I have accepted it I am able to look at all the other perks of my new location, i.e biking distance to work, walking distance to Target and TJMaxx (DANGER ALERT), and within arms reach of dozens of cool restaurants.

Sometimes, I think that we decide on something and then hold on to that decision for dear life without realizing what other perks we might be giving up due to our inflexibility.   Unless your criteria is a TRUE nonnegotiable, such as, “I need hardwood floors due to an allergy,” allow yourself to bend a little bit, and see what other things you may be missing.  You might like the result!

NUMBER THREE.  As some of you know, I’ve been dating the same guy now for a while, which is quite shocking given my track record and picky nature.  Even more shocking is the fact that he seems to like me just as much as I like him, which NEVER happens and which I’m still trying to wrap my head around.  The problem that I’m running into now, however, is I cannot seem to slow my own roll now that I have a guy in mutual like with me.  My brain immediately goes to “Well since we both like each other we should definitely be official like yesterday and confiding every single secret and meeting all the people in each other’s lives and planning out our happily ever after!!!”

The thing my brain (and heart) need to realize is that good things take time to develop.  As much as I would love to be at the stage where we are unequivocally and unapologetically madly in love and planning our future together, it does not need to happen at the snap of a finger.  The ride is just as enjoyable, if not more so, than the destination, and many a cook has ruined the soup by putting the heat on full blast right away.

IN SUM, my advice to you (ok, myself) is this: Accept the positivity that comes to you.  Be flexible with your wants.  Give good things time to come into their own.  And, above all, always take the time to reflect on your own personal shortcomings and strengths so you can take away here and add there and keep working to become the absolute best version of yourself every. single. day.

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