I am a very relationship oriented person. I love the connections that I make on any level, and I am very dedicated to seeing my closest relationships grow and flourish. However, I haven’t really realized how important true friends are until lately.
Today, I was telling my best friend about some heart-wrenching revelations that were made apparent to me by certain circumstances this morning. Without skipping a beat, she said “ya need me to kill him? I’ll be right over.” We laughed and moved on, but the sentiment was clear: she has my back.
Beyond hypothetical murder, my best friend has been there through it all. We live an entire country apart and she’s seen me through a mistaken marriage, a much-needed divorce, a sketchy re-establishment of my single self, and several other relationships that ended with heartbreak. Not to mention several moves across state lines, job hunts, and just recently being laid off.
Not once have I felt like she wanted to get rid of the friendship. Not once has it crossed my mind that it would be easier to just let our relationship fade into yearly Facebook greetings and random “how are you?” texts.
We are solid. And in a world of uncertainty, there is nothing more important than knowing 100% for sure that someone, somewhere out in the wildly rolling waves of life, is keeping the lighthouse lit just for you.
Friendship, real, true friendship, is a priceless gift that cannot be sold for any price. So, what is real friendship and why is it so important?
Real friendship is honesty. Honesty in all of its forms. I once asked my friend “do you think my shorts are too tight?” She answered to the affirmative in record time. They have also made their feelings quite clear on how I was treated in various relationships while still allowing me the freedom of making my own decision.
Honesty is giving the gift of our pure, unadulterated thoughts. Having honesty in our lives is incredibly important because it is only when we see our surroundings clearly that we change or enhance them. This quality in a friendship is necessary in our daily lives because when we are able to completely open up to someone else, we can completely accept ourselves.
Real friendship is trust. One of my friends has reason to mistrust her man, but the thought of having to watch him with me has never once crossed her mind. She knows without a doubt that I would never in a million years do something to betray her trust in that matter. I share an Amazon Prime account with one of my friends, and never once has the thought occurred to me that she would use my card or do anything underhanded with the information.
If you have trust with someone precious to you, that covenant needs to be protected at all costs. So many times we focus on having certainty in romantic relationships, but having a relationship unfettered by romance yet still safely anchored in utmost confidence is priceless.
Real friendship is support. God knows how many times my friends have heard me rant and rave about how this or that isn’t fair, or about how this coworker hurt my feelings, or about how he lost the best thing that ever happened to him. Never once have they made me feel like they aren’t 100% on my side. Sometimes, being on my side means reeling me back in and making me realize that I’m being a bit ridiculous, but they always bring me down with love.
Having a support system in your life is so. completely. necessary. We love to think that we can do it all, but the hard truth of the matter is we cannot. Or, rather, we cannot if we wish to stay sane. People who are there for you in your darkest, most pathetic hour are the individuals who make up the foundation of your life. If that stone isn’t pure, the whole thing crumbles.
Real friendship is laughter. I cannot tell you how many times I have laughed until tears ran down my face and my abs nearly cracked from being contracted for so long. I have sat with my friends and burst into giggles over the stupidest memes and the most relatable stories, and inserted hilarity in the place of tears on so many occasions.
Laughter is such an amazing release, and if you cannot truly laugh until your air supply runs dangerously low with another person, you are not completely living. In order to completely experience life, we need to share all emotions with another person, and gaiety is the best emotion to share.
If you do it right, your true friends are going to be with you for life. No matter the status of any other relationship in your life, friends are the pilings on which our pier is tied. No wave, no matter how wild, can knock down something solid. And no pier, no matter how beautifully fit together, can last without a sturdy steadiness beneath it.
Our relationships in life are our only lasting legacy. While we are alive, our true friends are our main source of sanity, issue reality checks, hand over tissues, contribute to late night musings, and overall make our lives enjoyable. If you’re smart enough to make these relationships a priority, they will give you back tenfold on your investment.
So relish in your wine nights. Share secrets. Listen. Be there when the universe is crumbling at their feet and beside them when they conquer the world. Love them. Appreciate them. Keep their confidences and let them keep yours. Support them. Don’t be afraid to need them. Together, the world will unfold before you. And when it does? Hand in hand, go kick some ass.