I'm realizing that I need to accept people for who they are and let them react to things in the way that they're going to react and (this is key) BE OK WITH THEIR REACTION. Above all, I need to assume that people have positive motivations, not negative (until PROVEN incorrect).
Something I've been giving a lot of thought to lately is KNOWING. Specifically, when do you know you've found the right person? This subject is of particular interest to me because a) I've been dating someone for a couple of months now (which means they've made it past the first 3 dates, a feat few... Continue Reading →
With all this thirst for knowledge, there comes a point where I have to admit to myself that I may NEVER know. I may never know where we came from or who or what made us or why we are REALLY here. Yet this does not give me an excuse to forgo my own answer to the second question: why are we here?
Robert Frost tells us that the road less traveled makes all the difference. So many people nod sagely at the Greats when they tell us to be daring, be bold, seize the day! Yet when it comes to actually doing so, throats are cleared, feet shift uncomfortably, and no one actually makes a move.
We all have those friends that we see from time to time, and every encounter is filled with laughter and fun memories. However, those aren't the moments when friendships are made strong. I have people that I could hang out with thousands of times who I would feel as close to day 40 as I did day 1. Epic memories are great, but it's those small, fleeting moments of interaction where your guard begins to fall where true friendship is forged.
Online dating has made us hyper critical of everyone else while simultaneously complaining that we can't find a man or woman who loves us for who we really are. We are quick to dismiss people we may actually be quite compatible with simply because they don't fit what we have envisioned for ourselves or because we fear what other people might think or say.
The standards for dating, in my eyes, have been playing a game of limbo for years: how low can you go? How low can you go? And yet when you try to stick to a higher principle, it can seem discouraging because that immediately shrinks the eligible bachelor pool down to 1.5 men in a 100 mile radius. Yet I have decided that when I am ready for another go-around on the roller-coaster of romance, I will not settle for less than I deserve.
My most recent breakup has led me to contemplate all of my past relationships. When you're in smack in the middle and full of new love, they seem amazing. When they're removed from your life, you sob in wrenching pain; eventually, months later, you wonder what you ever saw in them and roll your eyes at your past self and her choices. But for me, years down the road, I am thankful for all of my failed relationships because they each have shaped a part of who I am.
A broken heart is made up of muffled sobs and hot tears pouring down your face. It's made up of deep shuddering breaths and wiping the back of your hand across your nose, heedlessly smearing snot across your cheek. It's made up of red, swollen eyes and deep breaths that end when another wave of hurt crashes over you like the slap of the ocean on a windy day.